it's hard to put into words, the happiness i feel - have felt - for the last two weeks.
but maybe i could try?
never before has my face hurt like this, in a good way, from all the smiling. nor has my heart felt so full that i'm sure with each passing day, it couldn't grow more or it would burst. or maybe it already burst? and it's the little pieces of my heart that have made their way into every other crevice of my being - my body, my mind, my soul - that have got me feeling so unequivocally elated.
our engagement was short. we just didn't want to have to wait. also, it really doesn't take long to plan something if your only concern is a day that reflects you as a couple, because then... it's easy. you already have all you need and the rest are just details. we didn't want big, we wanted to be surrounded by people we loved, to eat well, dance hard and raise a couple glasses. so we put four months on the clock and we were off.
the planning was a easy-breezy and things (more often than not) kind of just... fell into place. "only four months? you should know better!", "that's not long enough is it?!", and "HOW?!" were among the many responses we got (followed closely by, "are you pregnant?!?") when people asked about the date. i had to laugh it all off. being in the wedding biz myself, i've seen days like these come together in a month, so i knew we'd be fine. i bought my dress, myles bought a non-suit and his favourite new shoes. my mom made jam and dad deck built a bar. cake flavours were decided and monogramed pins were pressed. florals were gushed overand we secured toronto's finest for our taco bar. we compiled 7 hours of our favourite tunes and bought a crazy amount of chips for our late-night snack. beer store research, wine tastings, sangria recipes. videographer wins, fireworks tutorials, hair and makeup practice. our close friend worked her magic with the design of our day and brought our vision to life. (secret) vows were written, macramé was tied, engagement shots taken and wedding bands procured. all the while, we never lost sight of the reason for all these things, all these plans. in those four months we laughed together, we danced together and we loved each other deeper than ever. it didn't come without a few struggles (like a last minute photographer switch-up due to a broken ankle - yikes!) but we knew all that really mattered was our officiant showing up and our four hands holding tight.
everyone will tell you that your wedding day will zoom by faster than you think and they are so right. i prepared myself, ready to take as many mental pictures as i could. after all, the whole experience was still so very surreal for me. it felt foreign, like i was living in a dream - my dream, the one i'd been dreaming for the last 30 years. that morning, i woke up and finally accepted that it was all coming true. it was my turn, it was our day. the tent went up, the tables were set, (by cauldron, no less! a memory that will forever make me laugh), the flowers arrived, the grounds transformed. family, friends and our amazing bridal party buzzed around like bees, happy to do even the smallest things like change a flat tire on our rental, rake wet grass or light a million candles. already i could feel my emotions running away and my heart starting to swell. i just kept thinking, all these people are here for us, because of us. feeling so supremely and overwhelmingly loved is something i never want to forget.
and then all of a sudden, it was time. time for curls and mascara. time for the dress and a crown of blooms. time for the reveal and time for the aforementioned heart-burst to begin…
i watched from the window as our photographer jessica placed myles in a field of queen anne's lace and then with weak knees, i was out the door and making my way towards my husband-to-be.
"are you there?" he asked.
"i'm here," i said, my voice shaking.
he turned and it was magic: tears streaming down our faces, "i love yous" and kisses by the dozen, a deep understanding that this was it. from here, the day started to slip into fast forward, only slowing down for a few short moments.
the first was my ride to the aisle with my dad, where any nerves i had melted away as we bounced along oro sideroads, father and daughter in a pickup from the 40's. to the guests' surprise, we pulled up ceremony-side, just in time for the glittery bridge in fleetwood mac's everywhere. he opened my door and i took his hand, proud to call this incredible man my dad and insanely excited to walk with him towards the love of my life. time whizzed on, kleenex was in dire need and before i knew it it was official. we sealed it with a kiss and confetti popped over us, mr. and mrs. deck (!) as april wine let it be known that tonight is a wonderful time to fall in love. (amen!) clinking glasses, celebratory hugs, stolen kisses, instant photos, plates piled high with tacos, plates piled high with cake, zoom, zoom, zoom...
time slowed a second time as we made our way into the sunset for just a few more photos. we held each other and commented on how huge the love felt that day. everyone we loved in one place? everywhere we looked, a familiar smile? all for us? what an incredible blessing. we never wanted it to end.
heartfelt speeches, hearty laughs, calling cards,and stellar dance moves followed and then finally... we watched fireworks explode through misty eyes, hand in hand, husband and wife.
to say that our day was all we could have hoped for would be an understatement. it was so much more. we professed our love and made our promises in the presence of people that mean the world to us and to us, that was the most important part. what was fun was being able to do it in an environment where we felt at home, one we knew our guests would love. we put so much of ourselves into the smallest details and it was so worth it. how incredibly special to have a day that's 100% about the love you share with your soulmate!
i don't even know where to start with how thankful we feel for everything and everyone, but i know we'll get there by the time our thank you cards arrive. :) for now, we're still coasting on that newlywed wave, so blissed out and not ready to come back down to earth just yet.